Humor

The Patented Blackfive Thanksgiving Turkey Recipe

[This post is an annual event here...]

The Bartender at Madfish Willie's reposts my patented Irish Paratrooper Turkey Recipe every Thanksgiving. 

Blackfive:  "How To Cook A Turkey"
1) Go buy a turkey.
2) Take a drink of whisky.
3) Put turkey in the oven.
4) Take another 2 drinks of whiskey.
5) Set the degree at 375 ovens
6) Take 3 more whiskeys of drink.
7) Turn oven the on.
8) Take 4 whisks of drinky.
9) Turk the bastey.
10) Whiskey another bottle of get.
11) Stick a turkey in the thermometer
12) Glass yourself a pour of whiskey.
13) Bake the whiskey for 4 hours.
14) Take the oven out of the turkey.
15) Take the oven out of the turkey.
16) Floor the turkey up off of the pick.
17) Turk the carvey.
18) Get yourself another scottle of botch.
19) Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey.
20) Bless the saying, pass and eat out.


An Opportunity to Share Your Story

Did you do something stupid in combat and barely lived to tell the tale? Did you inhale freon from an air conditioner just before an enemy attack on your FOB? Did you call in an airstrike on the moon or kill a jihadi with a sharpened toothbrush? Want your story featured in a book full of other Joes who did the same stupid shit? Graybeard books, a blood brother of Blackfive, is compiling an anthology of funny stories from warfighters that will be published in 2016. Hit us up if you've got one. 

Submissions go to [email protected].

B5, out.

 

 


Range 15 Final Update

For those of you following along, the independent movie being made by Ranger Up and Art 15 clothing has done extremely well in its fundraising cycle.  It easily made its initial goal, and with three days remaining has more than doubled it.  If they get to $700K, they promise to add CAS and rotary wing air support to the final product.