What Not To Wear....
Monday, July 29, 2013
It is becoming increasingly apparent to many Americans that we are going to have to rely on the cast of Mama Mia' and Rent, augmented by the LBGT community for our survival as a nation in times of war. In fact, it appears that the US Army is taking some significant steps to ensure they look FABULOUS!!!
The March debut of the Combat Uniform-Alternate is the first in a series of moves the Army hopes to make in the next three years to help female soldiers feel like more professional members, officials said.
With narrower shoulders, a slightly tapered waist and a more spacious seat, the unisex clothing line has been in the works since 2009 and is being issued to all installations – except Fort Benning in Columbus, Ga. – for men and women with a smaller or more slender body.
Now we are concerned that they don't "feel" professional in their uniform? Can someone throw a lifeline down this f'ing rabbit hole to me please? I just keep tumbling and tumbling.....
And let me correct the the Media; it ain't a "unisex" uniform if you can't sell it at Fort Benning; home of the Airborne, The Infantry, Sniper School, Ranger School and the factory where the crucible is located that cranks out a good portion of the world's supply of Modern Combat Bad-Assery.
The trousers feature wider areas at the hips, waist and backside; elastic around the waistband instead of pull string; adjusted pockets and knee-pad inserts; and a shortened rise in pants.
The jackets include adjusted rank and name tape positioning, adjusted pockets and elbow-pad inserts, slimmer shoulders, a thinner and more fitted waist, and a longer and wider coat bottom.
Because Matty O' has always asked lovingly to keep it as PG as possible, I am going to refrain from jokes regarding wider areas for hips, waists and backsides, changes in knee pad placement, the need for elbow pad adjustments and anything regarding "longer and wider" in regards to jacket size. Please work on your own for this portion.
IMHO, unless that uniform also has an electro-hydraulic up-armored exoskeleton attached to an Arc Reactor from Stark Industries, I am not certain how it is "better" for female soldiers. I guess it will look fabulous on them when they are sweating that 81mm baseplate up the hill.
Roughly one in every six soldiers is a woman, and last month, the Army announced that the ratio likely will increase by early 2014, when the service will continue its efforts to open all closed units and military occupational specialties to women
Great thinking Big Army, create a "unisex" uniform that fits 1/6th of the Army (and those waify looking dudes in finance) because that's what will make them want to make them choose a career with attributes like lifting heavy things and walking them all over God's Green Earth and then living in the mud when you get there; new, form fitting and flatteringly spiffy uniforms.
Someone in the puzzle palace is making the bold move of staking their career on sexual harrassment in the Armed Forces going up I guess.
Do they get a nifty beret to go with it? Did the US Army hire the PIO team from The Onion and Clinton and Stacy from What Not To Wear? Are they really f'ing serious about the direction they are taking the Army in?
Make a new uniform for the ladies all you want. I thought they had what it took to be professionals all along. Just not Infantry, Artillery, Cavalry, Armor or Special Forces professionals....