Received this from my Army buddy who is 50% nuts. He imagined this is how the POTUS speech to the American Legion's national convention would go:
(After everyone is assembled at 1000 for the POTUS speech, and t-shirts handed out, the POTUS arrives at 11:38)Let me perfectly clear... there are those who would say that the economy is all my fault. There are those who would say high unemployment is all my fault. There are some who would even say "Obamacare" is all my fault. I want to be perfectly clear here: all of these things were the fault of the previous administration. When I took office, I was burdened with an almost nine trillion dollar defecit. In only two short years, I have overseen an almost 40% in federal spending, which provides shovel-ready jobs and programs to help those who are unemployed and under-employed to realize their dreams and potential. I have lobbied through the halls of congress to get taxes increased on the wealthiest of Americans, those who already pay taxes on the hundred thousand dollars a year they make, or more, to make them pay their fair share of the burden, because there are 52% of americans who don't make enough money to pay any taxes. Those who can, should give according to their ability, to provide each american according to their needs.These corporate fat cats, who fly around in their private jets, eat only the finest foods, throw lavish and extravigant perties for themselves, and can afford to spend tens and even hundreds of thousands on multiple vacations--these people need to spend that money instead on providing for the less fortunate among us.You veterans and I share many things--we are proud of our country--as a matter of fact, even my wife is now proud of our country. We are proud of our service--your service in uniform, and my service making the gutsy calls to go risk your lives defending our nation, and Libya. We are proud to share a love of recreational sports. We share our beliefs that green jobs are key to securing our nation's independence. We are willing to risk everything--and by everything, I mean the future of our country, on our beliefs.Finally, I'd like to give a special shout out to my homies in the IRS who will be auditing all of you, to find out where you got the income to take time off from work to attend this conference, and for those of you who are retired and living on a military pension, to examine how much you've spent on this trip that could be further reduced from all military pensions.I'd love to take your questions and spend time talking with our greatest national treasure, but I have a tee time at 11:45.