UPDATE: Secrets? Yeah, I got Secrets...

Twas the Night Before Ramadan

This one is courtesy of the Sniper http://www.thesniper.us/ :

Twas the night before Ramadan and all through the FOB,
not a chamber was empty, tons of mortars to lob.
All the troopies were passed out asleep in their racks,
always leery of a night time insurgent attack.
With me in my tower with grenades close at hand
we were armed to teeth every woman and man.
When out on the Hescos there arose such a clatter,
I fthrew on my nods to see what was the matter.

In front of my green glowing sight did appear,
a whole bunch of hadjis acting mightily queer.
The were dressed in man jammies and sporting AK's 
and those RPGs told me they had come out to play.
My selector immediately clicked on to "Burst"
And my bloodthirsty carbine started quenching its thirst.

Down Tango, down Taliban, down man-jammied freak
No boy sex for them at the end of the week.
They were screaming "Ackbar!" at the tops of their lungs
til my M-4 had riddled them forehead to bung.
A couple of them manged to get off shots
Were you shooting at me? Oh no, bitch, you did not!
With a magazine change and my friend on the SAW
All we left on the Hescos was meat that was raw.

When the fight was all over and we called to report
And base ops asked if violence was our last resort.
The JAG guys came out and they questioned us plenty
Til they counted the suicide vests (numbered twenty).
Soon the citations were written and signed
for the guys in the rear who weren't there at the time.

Now they're back at their desks and we're out at our posts
We'll be making our range cards while they're raising their toasts.
Let the Pogues and the REMFS and the FOBbits rejoice,
being outside the wire is my pride and my choice.
So to all of you grunts out there ready to fight,
Happy Rammadan to all, and to all a good night