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Ranger Up Fobbit work out

I don't think this will shock anyone who knows the deranged lunatics who run Ranger Up. They are profiled in Stars & Stripes for their Fobbit workout program.

RUFobGen Exercise No. 1: Fobgeneration

It takes nine seconds from the time you die in “Call of Duty” until you regenerate. Most people waste that time sitting in a chair getting fatter. You can maximize it for an optimal workout.

As soon as death is imminent, shift your weight out of your chair into a sprinter’s posture and push off. The chair spring will give you the extra lift you need to get up to speed quickly.

Sprint to the fridge and slide on one knee as you throw the door open behind you with your non-dominant hand. Simultaneously, reach for a Red Bull and use the whip of your slide to both close the door and pull yourself up. Sprint back.

Should you encounter an obstacle, be prepared to do a combat roll over it, maintaining the Red Bull in a safe position. Pop up and continue. Hurdle any chairs in your path.

As you approach your chair, begin to turn your body 180 degrees so that you slide into your chair while opening your Red Bull. The chair will bounce off the adjoining wall or desk and the recoil will return you to playing position. Gain positive control over your remote control.

You’ve just completed one Fobgeneration.