Military voters screwed in NY race
Louis CK rocks the troops

Ask an Infantryman: We're in a Serious Recession. Is it Okay to Smile?

Infantrymen,

Sup. Uber Pig here. This time, it is I who needs your guidance today.  See, I'm trying to figure out if it's okay to smile during this recession which, you may have noticed, is looking pretty ugly.  The reason this comes up is that in my real job, outside the mil-blogosphere, I spend a lot of time on the phones talking to executives at construction companies about getting them to use my awesome new software. Lately a lot of them have been saying: "Hey you know what Uber? This is pretty sweet new software. I totally agree with you about the simplicity and awesomeness of your sublime user interface design. Unfortunately, we don't have any money in the budget for sweet new software.  Or even salty new software, dig?  Actually, we don't have any money in the budget for anything. In fact, we had to let go some of our employees last week for just that reason." 

And I'm like: "Wow. That sucks."

And they're like:  "Yeah that sucks, broseph.  It sucks harder than a Dyson vacuum cleaner."

And I'm like:  "Wow.  Then it must really suck bad then?"

And they're like:  "Broseph, there is nothing in the world that sucks harder than a Dyson vacuum cleaner.  Seriously, Google that shit."

And I'm like:  "I believe you, man."

And they're like:  "Oh yeah.  And we don't have any money to buy new toilet paper."

And I'm like:  ...

And they're like:  ...

And I'm like:  "Well then.  I guess I can give you this presentation I printed out for you, and you can use it, you know, instead."

And they're like:  "Yeah.  Thanks, Uber.  Just put it in the box outside the mens room."

And I'm like:  ...

And they're like:  ...

And I'm like:  "Well, I guess I'll follow through with you next year, then." 

And they're like: "Ha. Yeah.  Right. If we're even around next year." 

And I'm like: "But what about the stimulus?  Won't that save you?  Shouldn't you be happy about the stimulus?" 

And they're like: "Yea. I guess I should be happy about the stimulus.  I mean, shouldn't I?" 

And I'm like: "Um, yeah.  Isn't it, like the solution to everything?" 

And they're like: "Yeah, I think so.  Except for Kevin.  It is probably not the solution for Kevin." 

And I'm like:  "Who's Kevin?"

And they're like: "Oh yeah.  Kevin.  He was this dude with three kids I had to fire last week.  Nice guy.  Smiled a lot."


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