BlackFive

Folks, Mr. Wolf, Uncle Jimbo, COB6 and I will be in DC this weekend.  If you're a blogger, commenter, or reader and want to meet us out on Saturday night, send me an email.

“I heard the (M-249 Squad Automatic Weapon) go off at a cyclic rate and then the detonation along with a flash. Then I heard a Marine start yelling, ‘we got hit, we got hit.’" - Lance Cpl. Benjamin Tupaj, a rifleman with 3rd Platoon, Police Transition Team 3, Weapons Company, 1st Battalion, 9th Marines

Two Marines saved at least 50 that day.  They gave their lives to defend their post stopping a truck with thousands of pounds of explosives from getting near the gate.

Marines render honors while the national anthem is played during a Navy Cross ceremony in honor of two fallen Camp Lejeune Marines, Lance Cpl. Jordan Haerter, from Sag Harbor, N.Y., and Cpl. Jonathan Yale, from Burkeville, Va. Secretary of the Navy, the Honorable Dr. Donald C. Winter, presented the awards at a ceremony at the National Museum of the Marine Corps. Haerter and Yale posthumously received the Navy Cross for actions in April 2008. They are credited with saving the lives of many Marines and Iraqi police.
Photo by Petty Officer 2nd Class Kevin O'Brien, Navy Visual News Service

Be sure to read this post from last May about the Marines and the attack:

Chuck Simmins at America's North Shore Journal alerted us to the ceremony held last weekend to honor Yale and Haerter.  They were awarded the Navy Cross for their valor.

Secretary of the Navy, the Honorable Dr. Donald C. Winter, presents Joann Lyles, mother of Lance Cpl. Jordan Haerter, the Navy Cross, at a ceremony at the National Museum of the Marine Corps. Haerter, from Sag Harbor, N.Y., and Cpl. Jonathan Yale, from Burkeville, Va., both were posthumously awarded the Navy Cross for their heroic actions in Iraq in April 2008. They are credited with saving the lives of many Marines and Iraqi police.
Photo by Petty Officer 2nd Class Kevin O'Brien, Navy Visual News Service

Godspeed, Marines.

U.S. Army 1st Lt. Patrick Higgins (foreground) of 1st Battalion, 4th Infantry Regiment surveys a village as Spc. Aaron Trapley and Sgt. Gary Fordyce provide sniper overwatch and Sgt. Nicholas Gauthier provides security during a foot patrol near Forward Operating Base Mizan, Afghanistan, on Feb. 23, 2009.
DoD photo by Sgt. Christopher S. Barnhart, U.S. Army.

Over at In from the Cold is a really great blog piece that takes on the AP's Impact team and their shoddy military reporting before even discussing the issues with the AP's hit piece on AER.  It's a must read.

U.S. Army 1st Lt. Jared Tomberlin, left, gets a first-hand view of the land with outgoing commander 1st Lt. Larry Baca on top of a ridge near Forward Operation Base Lane, Zabul province, Afghanistan, Feb. 21, 2009. Tomberlin is assigned to Company B, 1st Battalion, 4th Infantry Regiment and Baca is assigned to Company C, 1st Battalion, 4th Infantry Regiment.
U.S. Army photo by Staff Sgt. Adam Mancini

Infantrymen, your counsel is requested:

BEAUTIFUL COUPLE'S MARRIAGE IS PERFECT -- EXCEPT IN BED

DEAR Mr. Sparkle: I am a beautiful woman in my early 30s. My husband, "Brad," is a handsome man in his late 20s. We both dress stylishly, exercise regularly and eat healthy food. We turn heads when we walk into the room. We have been married for nearly five years and are devoted to each other. We prosper in all areas except in the bedroom.
Brad seems to have no interest in sex at all. None. Zip! Our honeymoon was nothing short of amazing. We waited until after our wedding to consummate our union. Now we make love about every six weeks, if that. This is not enough for me. I gently told him that I "need more," and asked, "Is it me?" Brad says it's not me and that he feels guilty. He apologized for hurting my feelings and blames his lack of interest on being "tired." (Brad does not work long hours.)

I have tried clearing our social calendar and doing all the household chores. I suggested he go to sleep earlier in the evening and take naps whenever he needs to. I have even tried being assertive in my Victoria's Secret lingerie. Nothing has worked. Help! -- GOING WITHOUT IN THE SOUTHWEST

Your advice in the comments below, please.

Namaste,

Uber Pig

Part 1 is here.

Robert Young Pelton sent me a nice email which I will post his second paragraph as it is

...Also it appears the PAO at the 101st are chatty folks but I am happy to offer clarity. I own a site called www.IraqSlogger.com. It has no relationship with the HTS product nor would I ever say that any private venture is going to compete or derail the HTS. In fact I would think any service or product that brings clarity to Afghanistan would assist them in their work.   I do quite a bit of consulting work, both paid and unpaid for the U.S. military, individuals and in the area of kidnapping etc. Once again I don't see that derailing HTS. I make it very clear that I am not a journalist but write articles, books and do docos. I spend my time in Yemen with anti piracy folks and last christmas with the pirates in Somalia. So I hope you understand that the HTS was a fascinating program but my specific trip resulted in a very different experience from what I expected. But I did faithfully write down and document what happened...

He also goes on to explain that  "Blogging is great way to express opinions but when facts are misrepresented I think its important to correct them."

Old Blue at Bill and Bob's Excellent Afghanistan Adventure writes a piece that brings the big picture into light.  Must read.

...wish I was at Pat O'Brien's...

At O'Brien's before:

After:

Those Hurricanes sneak up on you. (like Michael Moore on a cheeseburger)

And that reminds me to get the St. Patty's Day posts going again...

Update:  Reader Edward B. sends this observation:

“Those Hurricanes sneak up on you.”
Unfortunately, I think this is a direct quote from Ray Nagin and Kathleen Blanco.

BARA, Pakistan — More than 70 United States military advisers and technical specialists are secretly working in Pakistan to help its armed forces battle Al Qaeda and the Taliban in the country’s lawless tribal areas, American military officials said.

The Americans are mostly Army Special Forces soldiers who are training Pakistani Army and paramilitary troops, providing them with intelligence and advising on combat tactics, the officials said. They do not conduct combat operations, the officials added

This is the type of piece that can only be dealt with by holding an Uncle J Press Secretary event. So without further ado.

The jackals are gathered in the east room of the White House expecting another session kicking the crap out of hapless Robert Gibbs.

The lights dim and several disco balls descend while tendrils of smoke spill out from behind the podium. Suddenly the pounding beats and dulcet tones of Kid Rock's "Cowboy" fill the room. Through the fog strides a man diametrically dissimilar to their usual target and Uncle Jimbo takes the stage.

UJ: Greetings Jackals, I bet you thought you were through with me when W rode off to his new job as  greeter in a Texas hardware store. No such luck, you see I don't serve as a partisan mouthpiece for whichever political hack and his band of thieves occupies this building. No, no no I represent the American people. You know them the ones who just had the future of their country mortgaged off on sub-prime loans to the Chinese by that Parliament of Hoors down the road aided and abetted by The Obama  and his collection of tax cheats and influence peddlers.

Now stop cringing and get back in your seats, you know the doors are locked anyhow. We will be hosting a couple of special guests today on one of my favorite segments. "Who is publishing classified secrets?" Yes once again the excremental New York Times, currently owned by a Mexican telecom tycoon and a couple of guys who hit the Lotto, has published classified information and compromised a vital national security program. Lets welcome ERIC SCHMITT and JANE PERLEZ to the show.

A gate clangs open and Chuck D formerly of Public Enemy and the S1W's stride into the room dragging the two journalists who are dressed in mountain tribal garb and a burka respectively.

UJ: Tell us about our two unlucky contestants and what they have won Chuck.

CHUCK D: Listen up jackals. These fools have exposed a program where our Special Forces are doing exactly what they are supposed to do. Running around in indian country helping the slightly bad guys kill the extremely bad guys in Pakistan. Since the P-Stan government has cut and run from the tribal areas, somebody has to make sure that the banditos of ass up there don't send an exploding candy gram back our direction. Now for some reason these shit birds thought it would be a good idea to tell the whole damn world about that. I don't know what part of classified and top secret they don't understand, but they will have a chance to think long and hard about that.

UJ: Do you have something planned for them Chuck?

CHUCK D: Bet. Hell me and Professor Griff had a few cold ones and talked about what might be a good experience for some low down dogs who feel like their boolshit scribbling is more important than the freedoms those guys up in the damn mountains were giving them.

The lights dim again and the smoke drifts while a horrible wailing and clanging "music" eerily similar to the noise created when two alley cats and a hobo drunk on Valu Rite vodka share a dumpster fills the room.

A tall man in tribal garb and staring out of his one good eye strides out.

CHUCK D: Welcome Mullah Omar, Salaam Alaykum

MO: Alaykum as-Salaam to you Chuck my brother. I have come to collect the new Taliban Press Agents you text messaged me about.

CHUCK D: They are right over their your one-eyed eminence, but I gotta ask you a damn question. I mean I can understand you wanting to show up and collect these collaborating dung beetles who have done you such a solid, but did you really think I was gonna let your punk ass waltz in and out of here? Shit man, I'm an American and you are a terrorist nut case. S1Ws lock this crazy, Muslim freak up and shave that nasty ass beard off while you at it.

Griff has this bastards handlers out back and they can send these two new PR pimps back to Ass-Crackistan on the Rendition Express, load 'em up fellas.

Chuck D and the S1Ws march off stage with the shaken and shaking journos in tow.

UJ: And there you have your lesson of the day Jackals, classified programs are classified for a reason. I don't give a rat's ass if you are trying to save that rag you call a newspaper from foreclosure. Hell the building would be better of as a shelter for drunken bums than a haven for the terrorist sympathizers and anti-American shit birds that currently inhabit it. So write this the f**k down. Don't tell our secrets or there may be a cozy berth in a shipping container floating around the Indian Ocean for your ass. Now hit the bricks and file your shite, I have to get the good Mullah ready for his afternoon waterboarding.

Previous Uncle J Press Conferences:

Torture Press- UJ Style
Uncle J Perp walks the press
WH Press Brief Uncle J & Chuck D
WH Press Brief- W leaked what?