Happy Birthday Blackfive!

Welcome home, brother...

Doc Boles

A little birdie has told me that today is Blackfive's Birthday. Alas, there is some sad news to share that I will put below the fold, as the truth is ugly and you are warned (author and site not responsible for the need for eye bleach or damage), but it is time to come clean with the truth about Blackfive.

You've all heard the stories about how certain celebutards have their photos extensively retouched. Reality is not a part of their advertising and related photography; but, well, they have nothing on our Blackfive. I left a major midwestern university to take over "shopping" duties here, both still and video, and Blackfive TV now has special effects equipment that Lucas Films now comes to us for work. To give you an example, here is the real photo of Blackfive at Blackwater:

Ugly doesn't begin to describe what we have to do to keep up appearances. There is even talk that we will be getting portable holo-generators soon and give the body double's liver a much needed break. Yet, you have to admit, that despite the fast and hard living; wine, beer, whiskey, and song; and, putting up with the rest of us here, he doesn't look too bad for 35...

To make up for all the hard time, and keeping in mind that he is married and we wouldn't want him to enjoy it too much, we found someone special who was even eager to give him his birthday ~~spanking~~ whipping...

Happy Birthday Blackfive!

NOTE: Photos found on the interweb thingy, and if they are yours I will either acknowledge or take down as you prefer.

Posted by Laughing_Wolf on Monday, January 26, 2009 at 12:20 PM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (26)

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Blackfive
Former Paratrooper and Army Officer, "Blackfive" started this blog upon learning of the valorous sacrifice of a friend that was not reported by the journalist whose life he saved.
Email: blackfive AT gmail DOT com
Jim Hanson
Retired Special Operations Master Sergeant, Jim Hanson ("Uncle Jimbo") is now focused on writing about the military, politics, intelligence operations and foreign policy.
Email: jimbo AT unclejimbo DOT com
The Laughing Wolf
Writer, photographer, and raconteur C. Blake Powers is the Laughing Wolf. He is independent in politics and covers topics including journalism, military, weapons, preparedness, space, science, cooking, food and wine, product and book reviews, and even spirituality.
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Grim Beorn
Grim -- an Old Norse name that means 'one who wears a mask' -- blogs on issues of intelligence, information operations, and foreign relations.
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Pinch Paisley
Instapinch Bill Paisley, otherwise known as Pinch, is a 22 year (ongoing) active and reserve naval aviator. He blogs over at www.instapinch.com on a veritable cornucopia of various and sundry items and will bring a tactical naval aviator's perspective to Blackfive. Readers be warned: any comments of or about the F-14 Tomcat will be reverential and spoken in low, hushed tones.
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Mr. Wolf
Mr. Wolf has over 26 years in the Army, Army NG, and USAR. He’s Airborne with 5 years as an NCO, before becoming an officer. Mr. Wolf has had 4 company commands. Signal Corp is his basic branch, and Public Affairs is his functional area. He recently served 22 straight months in Kuwait and Iraq, in Intel, PA, and senior staff of MNF-I. Mr. Wolf is now an IT executive. He is currently working on a book on media and the Iraq war. Functional gearhead.

In Iraq, he received the moniker of Mr. Wolf after the Harvey Kietel character in Pulp Fiction, when "challenges" arose, they called on Mr. Wolf...
Email: TheDOTMrDOTWolfAT gmail DOT com
Deebow
Deebow is a Staff Sergeant and a Military Police Squad Leader in the Army National Guard. In a previous life, he served in the US Navy. He has over 19 years of experience in both the Maritime and Land Warfare; including deployments to Southwest Asia, Thailand, the South Pacific, South America and Egypt. He has served as a Military Police Team Leader and Protective Services Team Leader and he has served on assignments with the US State Department, US Air Force Security Police, US Army Criminal Investigation Division, and the US Drug Enforcement Administration. He recently spent time in Afghanistan working with, training and fighting alongside Afghan Soldiers and is now focused on putting his 4 year Political Science degree to work by writing about foreign policy, military security policy and politics.
McQ
McQ has 28 years active and reserve service. Retired. Infantry officer. Airborne and Ranger. Consider my 3 years with the 82nd as the most fun I ever had with my clothes on. Interests include military issues and policy and veteran's affairs.
Email: mcq51 -at - bellsouth -dot- net
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Chris Carter is a former USAF firefighter and now civilian firefighter who covers military history, national security, and baseball. Find out more at his website.

Twitter: @CrushingChris
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Tantor

Tantor is a former USAF navigator/weapon system officer (WSO) in F-4E Phantoms who served in the US, Asia, and Europe. He is now a curmudgeonly computer geek in Washington, DC, picking the taxpayers pocket. His avocations are current events, aviation, history, and conservative politics.
Long Tab Sig O
Twenty-three years of Active and Reserve service in the US Army in SF (18B), Infantry and SOF Signal jobs with operational deployments to Bosnia and Africa. Since retiring he's worked as Senior Defense Analyst on SOF and Irregular Warfare projects and currently ensconced in the emerging world of Cyberspace.

The Authors Emeritus

Major Pain
Major Pain -- A Marine who began his blog in Iraq and reflects back on what he learned there and in Afghanistan. To the point opinions, ideas and thoughts on military, political and the media from One Marine’s View.
Email: onemarinesview AT yahoo DOT com
Froggy
Froggy is 21 year Navy SEAL corpsman and vet of the War on Terror. Follow Froggy on Twitter @FroggyRuminates
Driven
"Driven" is an OIF vet, Sergeant and team Leader in the 82nd Airborne Division...
Uber Pig
Uber Pig was an Infantryman from late 1991 until early 1996, serving with Second Ranger Battalion, I Corps, and then 25th Infantry Division. At the time, the Army discriminated against enlisted soldiers who wanted use the "Green to Gold" program to become officers, so he left to attend Stanford University. There, he became expert in detecting, avoiding, and surviving L-shaped ambushes, before dropping out to be as entrepreneurial as he could be. He is now the founder of a software startup serving the insurance and construction industries, and splits time between Lake Tahoe, Boonville, and San Francisco, CA.

Uber Pig writes for Blackfive a) because he's the proud brother of an enlisted Civil Affairs Reservist who currently serves in Iraq, b) because he looks unkindly on people who make it harder for the military in general, and for his brother in particular, to succeed at their missions and come home in victory, and c) because the Blackfive readers and commenters help keep him sane.

Email: enlisted swine (at) gmail (dot) com.
COB6
COB6 spent 24 years in the active duty Army that included 5 combat tours with service in the 1st Ranger Battalion and 1st Special Forces Group . COB6 was enlisted (E-7) and took the OCS route to a commission. COB6 retired a few years back as a field grade Infantry officer. Currently COB6 has a son in the 82nd Airborne that just returned from his third tour and has a newly commissioned daughter in the 4th Infantry Division.
Subsunk
Subsunk is a retired US Navy Submarine Officer.