Ask an Infantryman: My Boyfriend Has No Money, No Ambition
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Infantrymen, enough cupping of The Obama's satchel. Your counsel is requested. The first of three questions that have come in since my call for submissions:
Dear Chuck Z,
I have been dating Ned for about 3 years. We are in our mid-30s. I have one 6-year-old daughter from my first marriage, and he has 4 children from his marriage.
Resolutions: New Year, New You
My issue with Ned is that he is not a go-getter and does not want to better himself in any way. He gets paid for working 45 hours a week and only works about 35 of them. He pays about half of his check to child support and goes out of his way to not make his ex mad at him. If she asks for extra, he gives in.
I own the home we live in pay the mortgage and most of the household bills and cell phone bill. Occasionally he will give me a few hundred here or there, but nothing consistent.
I do love this man and would love to have a future together but don't feel he is willing to work for us to have something better. I would love to sell my home and get out of the city, but he will not work overtime or get a second job to be able to pay for half of things, nor does he participate with half of the household chores.
When his kids come over, he sits in the house if I don't make plans to do something. I do all of the cooking when they are over and he hardly spends good time with them when they are over.
I do like to be in control of things, but it would be nice to have a break from this every once in a while. I have to worry about a ton of things and sometimes I get sick of being his mother.
Am I too late to change this around? If not, what to I do to change this situation?
Your advice in the comments below please. If you have a question you'd like answered, send it to me at enlisted swine (at) gmail (dot) com.
-- Uber Pig