Private Beauchamp- Requiem for a dung beetle
Thursday, July 26, 2007
UPDATE: It appears that even dung beetles have fellow travelers, clown prince John Cole of Balloon Juice disparages me, poorly. But you know me, I will savage him manana.
Because some people enjoy projecting their weaknesses on me, I do not advocate that anyone hurt the pissant, let alone frag him. Give me a break people, he slimed his whole unit as scum and I pointed out that he might should watch his ass. Really, 'Ya think?
From our comments and the most excellent readers on the internets.
On a related thought, let's see if we can do something to build the morale of his unit; they're gonna need it. Maybe like what Grim did with the Marines?
OK so now we need contact info for A Co. 1/18 for an email campaign to reboost their morale, I will look although y'all will probably scoop me. I emailed Kirk Luedeke the PAO who has been fielding questions thus far, I will advise
So he is unmasked, kudos to JD Johannes who had him pegged down to Company level. I just wonder how the other members of A Co. 1/18 feel about how their buddy Beauchamp described them. And just to note, I had this to say about this POS when this came up.
Scott Thomas is a lying sack of shit. Every unit has a Scott Thomas, the whiny pissant whose brilliance is never recognized and who is always being abused by the chain of command for stuff that's not his fault. It would be normal to hear folks telling him to STFU and do his damn job.
Well just take a look at this little pissant's previous literary efforts, and I'll be honest I would pay good money to knock that freakin' smirk off his face.
Every morning I get up and say I'm Scott Beauchamp, in the army, living in Germany, and this is my life, and I'm going to be treated like shit today and do landscaping and janitorial work and practice killing people and there could be no other way to appreciate what I had or what I'm going to have once I get out other than enduring this now when all I really want to do is teach history and lay around and read and hustle around and repair the world (tikkun olam) and sift through knowledge and improve culture and learn how to sail and work in soup kitchens and start a family and really, I mean REALLY study the best the western civilization has to offer and facilitiate the mystery and power through everything I do, but I cant do it without getting through this army experience first, which will add a legitimacy to EVERYTHING i do afterwards, and totally bolster my opinions on defense, etc, and of course its making me a lot less lazy, just because im not use to being lazy any more, etc.
As I said every unit has a Private Beauchamp who is more or less universally disliked as a whiny loser. No one understands them and they are always getting screwed over. They always have aspirations to grandness coupled with an absolute uselessness and laziness that ensures they will never achieve it.
The incidents described by Private dung beetle did not happen in the way he described them, but some event containing morsels of truth did and then our fabulist enbellished it to match the narrative of the voices in his head. They tell him the war is evil and consequently he and the folks around him are compromised and now agents of evil. He was just doing his part to ensure that people get the truth as it should be, damn the facts.
That being said, my character, my experiences, and those of my comrades in arms have been called into question, and I believe that it is important to stand by my writing under my real name.
Your character, or more accurately, your complete lack of it has already been noted and your experiences, being mostly fiction matter little. If any of them happened, you will face punishment, but as we know telling BS stories is not a crime. As far as writing under your own name, as I noted above JD Johannes had already identified you down to Company (100+ troops) level and you used your first and middle names as your pseudonym you freakin' pinhead. You were already fronted out and I would assume it was some members of your unit that "politely" invited you to name yourself. You are a disgrace Beauchamp, a wannabe intellectual lacking the brainpower to do much more than embarrass yourself in public. Well Bravo, you have shown yourself to be a back-stabbing petty BS artist. Congratulations on that. Now you need to get busy watching your back, 'cuz if you think you were disliked and unloved before......Heh. Now your time is up, we are done making fun of you, Uh buh bye.
FBL: you're right on target.
Uncle Jimbo: roger that