Today Is St. Patrick's Day
I'll Be Remote Blogging Today...

We Had A Primary Here In Illinois Yesterday

I voted for Stephen Rauschenberger for Republican for Senate. He was a long shot and he did better than any pundit predicted. Unfortunately, for Illinois, Jack Ryan got the nomination.

This guy's claim to fame was to be married to Seven-Of-Nine. The divorce proceedings became an issue for some reason. Ryan was a stockbroker, made millions, became a teacher at a Catholic boys school, and now wants to be a Senator.

I am sorry, people, but I cannot vote for a guy who cosmetic surgery included teeth veneers that are one shade brighter than the sun. I just can't vote for someone like that.

Rauschenberger is an honest and decent man. One of the smartest guys you would ever meet. And he loses to the pretty boy millionaire. You think I'm pissed. Here's what Mr. Green sent me this morning.

In the last primary, I voted on the Dem side so I could vote for Paul Vallas and against Lisa Madigan. Then in the general, I voted for Jim Ryan and Joe Birkett. Twice I voted against the empty haircut and the daddy's girl, and they won both times. I voted for Bush and Gore won Illinois going away. This time I voted for Rauschenberger and Ryan won. My candidate for state senate lost too.

Well, on the bright side, Ryan does have great teeth. How bad of a senator can you be with teeth like that? Obama has pretty good teeth too, I guess, but they do not compare to Ryan's. Also, he was endorsed by Paul Simon's daughter, who was beat with the ugly stick something fierce. And she has bad teeth. So I'm thinking Ryan wins comfortably.

In the presidential race, Kerry has that big ol' horse face - does he have the horse choppers to match? I haven't noticed, but I think that could be formidable. Imagine Jack Ryan with bigger teeth, and think what a candidate that would be. And Bush's face does have that sort of simian cast. Gosh, I don't know who to vote for there. Who do you think is handsomer?
So I replied, "And you quit blogging?"
Yeah. It's a shame to deprive the world of such wit, such insight. But that's the kind of cruel bastard I am.