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Those Pepperidge Farm Bastards!

This one's for Heather:

I recently bought a loaf of Pepperidge Farm Low-Carb Wheat Bread. My adorable wife, who is pregnant, is VERY particular about what bread she eats...primarily, it must be soft and not full of grains because she will probably have to throw it up. (Just thought I'd share)

So, not really caring if my bread is Low-Carb, I buy the PF Low-Carb stuff because it seems soft and just the very thing that my lovely wife would desire.

This morning, my wife and I are in the kitchen and she tells me, "Matty, you know why PF is calling this Low-Carb bread?"

"No, darling, why is that?"

"Look at the loaf." I look at it and she proclaims, "Every other piece is sliced twice as thin. THAT'S HOW THEY LOWERED CARBS!"

"Ah, I would never even have noticed that..."

My wife smirks, "Bet you would if your Michelob Ultra was a ten ounce bottle!"

I gasp, "Those Pepperidge Farm BASTARDS!"

Little Blackfive yells from the Living Room, "Bass-tards!"