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Wednesday 'Sphere

Is Blackfive A Blueneck?

Well...yes...probably...well, maybe we should see.

Via Gut Rumbles:

Bluenecks are Northerners -- the opposite of Rednecks. Because of Redneck jokes, here are some takes on how Southern folks look at Northerners (or how Northerners sometimes think of themselves;).

See how this Blueneck stack up:


...Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
- BLACKFIVE: Guilty as charged. I do it on the blog.

...You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
- BLACKFIVE: Guilty as charged. I 'barbeque' all year if possible, and I will drink a frosty beer while grilling barbecue chicken outside in February in 3 foot snow drifts.

...You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.

...You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road. (e.g., boiled peanuts) .
- BLACKFIVE: Guilty as charged.

...You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
- BLACKFIVE: Guilty as charged. It's part of a secret Blackfive Burgers recipe, too.

...For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.
- BLACKFIVE: Nope. Hash browns maybe...

...You don't know what a moon pie is.
- BLACKFIVE: No problems identifying those.

...You've never had an RC Cola.
- BLACKFIVE: Nope. RC is all around here.

...You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.
- BLACKFIVE: Nope (had okra a lot, I just don't like it).

...You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
- BLACKFIVE: Nope, depends on where I am, but mostly use the hands.

...You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
- BLACKFIVE: Seen and butchered chickens.

...You have no idea what a polecat is.
- BLACKFIVE: Nope (skunk).

...You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.
- BLACKFIVE: Nope (that's sacriledge - do you see sweaters on dog sled Huskies?).

...You don't have bangs.
- BLACKFIVE: Guilty as charged.

...You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
- BLACKFIVE: Nope. I can't stand most lawyers, and I know quite a few.

...You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes."
- BLACKFIVE: Guilty as charged.

...You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.
- BLACKFIVE: Nope (ate tomato sandwiches a lot as a kid 'cause we didn't have much growing up, but we did have a garden).

....You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show.
- BLACKFIVE: Guilty as charged.

...You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
- BLACKFIVE: Guilty as charged.

...You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
- BLACKFIVE: Nope (just fixed a squeaky door the other day with it).

...The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway.
- BLACKFIVE: Nope. I live in Chicago. You can't let traffic get to you or you would have a heart attack every day.

....You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
- BLACKFIVE: Nope (my father-in-law gave me a hat from Feed Management last year).

...You have more than one professional sports team in your home state.
- BLACKFIVE: Guilty as charged.

...You call binoculars opera glasses.
- BLACKFIVE: Nope. (Mrs. Blackfive talked me into season tickets to the opera a few years back and, with exception to a version of MacBeth portrayed in Stalinist Russia, they all bored me to death).

...You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.

...You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice)
- BLACKFIVE: Guilty as charged.

...You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie)
- BLACKFIVE: Nope (cousin Sam).

...You don't have Maw-maw's & Pawpaw's.
- BLACKFIVE: Guilty as charged.

...You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
- BLACKFIVE: Nope (only if they are holding a gun).

...None of your fur coats are homemade.
- BLACKFIVE: Guilty as charged.