Blackfive says, "Hey, Jackass, let me buy you a drink!" - A Shirley Temple
Okay, folks, here is the latest Blackfive list of people that I would like to buy a Shirley Temple:
5. The folks at the RIAA - While I agree in part with the legal wrangling of the RIAA, I do not believe that taking teenagers to court is the way to go. They believe that making examples of people will stop piracy, but it has not, if fact, stopped or even slowed down. Now, you have people building better mousetraps to get around the RIAA. There are more and more techniques to getting around them. You can download a stream, chop it up and save MP3's from it. The problem is that the RIAA are a bunch of old white-guy lawyers and not visionaries - they need to be able to develop newer technology to either protect or profit from on-line music sharing. Before you go out and arrest another twelve year-old girl, why don't you take a moment and have a drink. Here is a big Shirley Temple toast to you idiots at the RIAA.
4. Judge Lee R. West - Repealed the national Do Not Call Registery. How much do I need to say about this jackass? Free speech entitles you to call every home in the nation to sell me a vacation that I don't want? Hours, only hours, after his repeal occured that I received about 30 phone calls with blocked phone numbers. Free speech? I'll give you some free speech - you are a f--king idiot! Your weak-ass decision deserves a weak-ass drink. Here's your Shirley Temple.
3. Arianna Huffington - At first I thought she was Zsa Zsa Gabor, but not as cute and definitely more annoying. Anyway, her attempted take-downs of Ahnold in the California debate were personal and not based on political stances or solutions to California's problems. She is an obstructionist and not much else so why is she in the race? She is just trying to promote her books and speeches on the cheap. California has enough problems. Speaking of cheap, here's your Shirley Temple, Arianna.
2. Senator Ted Kennedy - Asshat Senator accuses the President of going to war for political reasons. How more vile can he get? Well, not much, unless any of the poparazzi take any more pictures of him in his birthday suit...Remeber those pictures? I couldn't eat for a week after seeing the biggest, wrinkley, white ass of all time. Looking back, this guy actually should have started drinking Shirley Temples long ago. Might have avoided Chappaquiddick...*groan* (I know, I know, too damn easy, couldn't resist, sorry...)
1. General (ret.) Wesley Clark - You can read my first take on the general here. Consider this General who rose to power during the Clinton administration and then was fired by Clinton for his handling of the Kosovo Campaign (remember that war?...*crickets chirping*...anyone?). Anyway, Wesley Clark has waffled on a lot of things, and he is mostly staying ambiguous in order to survive the next few months. He's said that the Bush Administration had pressured him into supporting an attack on Iraq when it was a Canadian non-profit org that had called him. He claimed that they also tried to get him fired on CNN. Now, Clark reportedly told Colorado Governor Bill Owens and University of Denver president Mark Holtzman that "I would have been a Republican if Karl Rove had returned my phone calls." Of course, the White House does not have a record of any incoming calls from General Clark. Now, he says he was against the war, but, just 24 hours earlier, he was quoted as stating he was for the war. Is he a liar or just stupid? He was a Rhodes scholar and graduated first in his class at West Point - you do the math. Either way, he isn't a good choice for President. This guy is as wet as Christina Aguilera's mattress. General, I would like to buy you a Shirley Temple because you are about as interesting as watered-down grenadine and ginger ale.
Round One of the Blackfive Shirley Temple Drink Awards is here.