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August 2003

General (ret.) Wesley Clark

Sun Tzu had something to say about serving your nation as a General -

"And therefore the general who in advancing does not seek personal fame, and in withdrawing is not concerned with avoiding punishment, but whose only purpose is to protect the people and promote the best interests of his sovereign, is the precious jewel of the state. Such a general has no personal interest. Few such are to be had" (X.19)

I was talking to my brother on the phone on Monday about General Wesley Clark. First let me give you a run down on my bro (he sometimes posts comments here as Matt-Bro).

1. My brother was once the most virulent, rabid, conservative known to Man at ages 18-27. That's nine years folks. He made Pat Buchanon look like Nader. He was a trader in one of the last unregulated markets - currency (Yen).
2. He got married.
3. He married a former aide of Hillary's (four years 92-96), changed his ways, became a flaming democrat (not too liberal). Now, he is more like James Carvel.
4. When I wrote the going home posts, he was there, too, and he gave my mom an autographed copy of Hilary's book. (don't ask - I still ain't ready to talk about it, yet).

Continue reading "General (ret.) Wesley Clark" »

Todays News

Hey, the Israelis blew up another 4 terrorists - while Abbas and Arafatass duke it out for control of the security forces. I think Arafatass has sufficiently proved that he can't control Hamas or the security forces (or that he has even tried to use them to suppress terrorism). If he wins this round, the road map will be officially road kill. There seems to be some debate over whether the Ham-asses are terrorists or militants - I prefer terrorists, but I also prefer to call them what they are - "murderers" of children.

I watch the Amazing Race religiously. I have tried to get my father-in-law to apply with me to be contestants in the race for the last year or two. Anyway, the winners of the 1 meeelion dollars last week were the gay, married couple Chip and Reichen. They made the cliche' announcement after winning that "It was about showing the world that gay people can do anything that anyone else can do..." Really? (sarcasm starts here) I thought being gay meant you were physically handicapped....(sarcasm ending). Even my wife groaned when Reichen said that statement. More on those Idiots at the Advocate's web site.

Get a look at Mars soon. Wednesday at 4:51am will be the best viewing time in the Midwest.

Rachel Lucas has watched Bowling for Collumbine by that jackass, Michael Moore, and has a great rant about it.

News updates:
Last night, I went out for a walk and ended up at Borders. There, on a table in the very front of the store, was Al Franken's new book. So, I picked up a copy, paged through it for about five minutes, decided it wasn't worth my time, and went back to looking at other books (I read at least one book per week). Anyway, I began to notice how many customers stopped by the Al Franken table, picked up the book, paged through it, then put it down again and went about their business. Not that I know anything about book sales, or that my observations at 7pm on a Sunday night at a Chicago Borders has anything to do with it, but it seemed that no one was buying the book. It hasn't made the NYTimes top 30 list yet - I think it hasn't been out long enough to register. Time will tell. My five minute perusal review: It was boring. Calling Bill O'Reilly, Bill O'Lie-ly, was about the most entertaining blurb I could find after skimming through about 100 pages

Check out the new site Mr. Green - a viceral rant letter to PETA.

Today's Stuff

Bad Money has Blackfive vs. French Man - check it out to see what happens.

Hamas kills innocents (including many, many children) so the Israelis take out their leader. Now, Hamas is calling off a cease-fire?!! WTF and NEWSFLASH, I thought killing kids was an official-enough statement to end any cease-fire. While I am not a big fan of Israel, they certainly have every right to defend themselves against disgusting animals like Hamas. I hope they all go out like their cowardly leader.

This is the next movie that I am going to go see.

File this under "What an Ass!" category.

Anyone who puts up a post like this gets blog-rolled.

Glenn from Hi, I'm Black has a letter from White Glenn, the Enemy, on why he won't get linked - it's because he's black. Now, I know why the Enemy won't link to me. I'm Blackfive. That racist, puppy blending enemy! Glenn - we gotta stick together, yo

Why did the 3rd Infantry Division have the lowest Rifle Qualification in the US Army?

US Army Background Info:
Army Officers, especially Infantry Officers, are rated on the ability of their troops to qualify annually on the rifle range. This is just one aspect, albeit a very important one, that is looked at for an Officer’s evaluation. If your soldiers can’t shoot, you should start looking for another job because your next evaluation might just ensure that you will never get promoted. The military has an “Up Or Out” system - if you don’t get promoted, you will eventually get thrown out of the service.

Officers of all types are assigned additional duties that are somewhat outside the scope of their usual responsibilities. For example, a Rifle Platoon Leader might also serve additionally as the Mess Hall Officer or the Morale Officer – more about Morale Officers at a later date. My favorite duty description was for the assignment as Sexually Transmitted Disease Officer – the assignment was to educate the troops on STDs and how to prevent them...and, no, experience wasn’t necessary

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The New Blog War - The Opening Salvo

Blackfive, still healthy, closes in on The Enemy and awaits a message from the Alliance HQ.

Alliance HQ:  *static*....ssss, Blackfive, come back.....

Blackfive:  Blackfive, here.  Axis of Evil Naughty troops in the open - tango romeo one niner....FIRE FOR EFFECT!

Alliance HQ:  Fire for effect, tango romeo one niner.  On the way!

Blackfive: Splash!  Good hit!  Good hit, over.

Alliance HQ: Nice work, Blackfive.  Alliance, out.

That's what you get when you take a Paratrooper with a M.S. in Computer Science and a fully licensed copy of Photoshop and enter a Blog War!

Phil Update:

Thanks for the votes in the Phil Marriage Poll. Phil, still living with the fiance', will be moving out relatively quickly. It's nice to see people taking the time to vote. Results:

59% Get abso-freaking-lutely drunk with Blackfive on Saturday, drunk dial the fiance, and call the whole thing off.

20% Show up to the wedding, but then run away like a Frenchman being chased by a chicken.

21% Get married, be miserable, and turn to drugs.

Strange Music to Blog To...

With all these bloggers putting up tune-lists (RW News had a good one on driving with heavy/rock music), I decided to match the Blog with the tune. This is, of course, based on personal taste, and most of these may have a good reason for the selection, while others...not so good.

Music for the Best Blogs
1. IMAO = Fun Loving Criminals' "Scooby Snacks"
- Reason: Don't know why, it's just goofy and cool and badass like Frank J.
- FYI: Frank J. just published a new Guns Basics post - info on cartridges. Good stuff - blog this to the Ramones' "Pet Cemetary" (think pet monkeys).

2. Rachel Lucas = Cake's "Short Skirt/Long Jacket"
- Reason: 'Nuff said about this brilliant hottie with a great attitude.
- FYI: Ms. Lucas is graduating so blog to Third Eye Blind's "Graduate".

3. USS Clueless = Tangerine Dream's "Love on a Real Train"
- Reason: Not literally, just good background noise when you need to concentrate because he is so damn smart and right on target, yet again.

4. EjectEjectEject = K's Choice "Not An Addict"
- Reason: Because I am addicted and can't wait for the next essay on Friday.

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Going Home Part One - Blackfive's Lessons Learned

This post is really about nothing and about everything. This weekend, my wife, son and I went to my parents' house to celebrate my Mother's birthday. After the cake was consumed, I went up into the attic to see what kind of things I would have to move into the house we will be buying soon (well, as soon as we sell our condo). My parents have been kind enough to store things that wouldn't fit in a 2 bedroom condo in downtown Chicago...things like two extra beds, coffee tables, chairs, etc.

Among the furniture, I found my Army 201 (Personnel) file which might make for some hilarious posts sometime, and some other interesting things that I have kept over the years. I even found a box entirely devoted to stuff from the day I stopped being Sergeant Blackfive and started being Lieutenant Blackfive - the day I was commissioned as an Officer in the United Stated Army.

In the box were pictures, scrap books, and letters and cards from friends and family wishing me congratulations (even had a card from Denny Hastert). One of the gifts that I received that day was a Colt Combat Commander (.45 cal) from my grandmother. Yeah, my grandmother. I found her note in the box. It was short and simple - "May this gift protect you and your soldiers. May you use it judiously in defense of our great nation. Love, gram".

On the day I swore an oath, I received one of the best gifts that I have ever received.

Continue reading "Going Home Part One - Blackfive's Lessons Learned" »

Spicing Up Tech Reports

Frank J.'s Solution For Random Ninja Attacks Almost Solves Attention Span Problem at Initech*
I run an IT department for a large company. One of the things that our support group does is check all of the service jobs that were supposed to kick off in the early AM. Then, they send a report with the problems that they encountered. The reports are so boring that I mentioned to one of the techs, Daniel, that I doubted that anyone was reading them and suggested spicing them up to see if anyone was paying attention. I gave him an example of using Death Touch on random Ninja attacks (giving him clearance to check IMAO for the info).

That was two weeks ago. Today, this is what I read on Daniel's report (shortened for your perusal):

    ///////////// RESOLVED ISSUES:
    - Account management Midwest Module - Crashed. - Restart fixed.
    - Accounts payable records 1999 - Crashed. - Restart fixed.
    - RS 6000 ID 13 - no key. Re-seated connection. Fixed.

    - Management video - the Windows task bar was visible onscreen. Restarting interactive did not fix. I brought the movie file into focus by clicking on it with the mouse, causing the task bar to disappear. Developer will be checking into this.

    - Slight ninja infestation - attacking guests with Ghost Claw technique (Northern Style). Repelled attack with superior Buddha Palm technique. Fixed.

Next, I ask the tech if anyone noticed. The report was sent at 8:43AM. As of 3:00PM no one noticed it or bothered to complain about it. My conversation via email with the tech:

    Blackfive: Again, I would state that using Death Touch resolves many random Ninja problems.

    Daniel-San: I only employ the Dim Mak in the most dire of circumstances.

    Blackfive: Well, feel free to use Death Touch on those monkeys in accounting...not the payroll guys, though.

    Daniel-San: You got it, boss.

Damn if I haven't unleashed a monster...

* Note: Initech is not the name of the company - this was done to protect the innocent and to ensure that I keep my job (I need my beer money). However, Friday is Hawaiian Shirt Day here so feel free to express your creativity then.