The following book review is a special for BlackFive readers provided by Elise Cooper. You can read all of our book reviews and author interviews by clicking on the Books category link in the right side bar.
Tied Up in Knots by Andrea Tantaros is the 21st Century’s version of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Both are about understanding the opposite sex. Tantaros argues relations between men and women in America have never been more dysfunctional while discussing the issues of intimacy, authenticity, kindness, respect, discretion, and above all commitment. Readers should know her as one of Fox News most informative commentators and a co-host of the show Outnumbered.
Both men and women need to read this book to get a fast check on relationships, how the sexes treat each other, and the responsibilities of society. While reading the chapters people can relate to the author’s comments with current issues. Blackfive.net had the privilege of interviewing her about her book and her opinions about today’s world.
Regarding the provocative cover, Tantaros said there has been no criticism and jokingly hopes that will continue. “It is inspired by the Wonder Woman pose. I hope people see how it symbolizes the modern female who is very powerful, but tied up in her own lasso of truth.”
It is not a “chicks book,” because men’s eyes will be opened about what is going on in the mind of a woman. She noted, “I interviewed a lot of men and they kept talking about their frustration and confusion. They can read this book and they will get a better understanding about how women think and issues important to the sexes. Even women do not understand the rules. Are we capable, high functioning, responsible, women who can take care of ourselves and do not need special treatment? Or are we really the weaker sex, something women have fought against for decades. I give the early feminists credit in this book when they called for rightful equality.”
Where does rightful equality play into a woman’s role in the Special Forces Units? Should the expectations be lowered for women to become SEALs or should they be allowed to try while keeping the current rules? She predicted, “Just like the Rangers this administration will get women into the SEALs training and right before President Obama leaves office they will reveal a female in the graduating class. The narrative will be they could do it even though the rules were changed. I know a number of SEALs that say they will quit the brotherhood because of it. Many people do not know that there are already women serving in the Special Forces, although not in combat. These women are really upset with women’s rights groups who say we need women as SEALs, even though they are there, but in different roles. These women feel forced to say ‘we are here and you just blew our cover to the world.’”
The book goes into a lot of detail about how women are sending mixed messages to men. She writes of Girls actress Zosia Mamet comments in Marie Claire about the loss of romance and old-time dating rituals. Mamet wrote, “Not that long ago a guy spent the night with me. We went to breakfast the next day. The check came. I went to the bathroom, came back. It was still there… Seeing my confusion, he said he didn’t want to offend me by paying on ‘my side of town’-So he’s thinking I’d be offended, and I’m thinking, if you’ve already Lewis-and-Clarked my body, maybe buy my oatmeal.”
Tantaros insists the struggles between the sexes are based on misconceptions. She pointed out to blackfive.net, “Liberal women knock stay at home moms and perpetuate single moms by insisting women do not need men. I heard Jennifer Aniston say women don’t need men to have babies. Ugh, technically I think we do. There was also an article in the Washington Post written by a woman who said she was so tired of her helpful husband. I thought, ‘are you kidding me. Do you know how many women would kill to have a man around the house.’ I agree with Sheryl Sandberg who said in her book, Lean In, the most important thing a woman could do is to choose the right husband. Patti Stranger, the famous matchmaker, also echoes this thought when she said, ‘women, you cannot have your penis and eat it too.” The media completely ignored those messages because it was traditional and destroyed the theory of feminism, men are unnecessary.”
A very relevant issue she discussed in the book was the phrase, “playing like a girl,” considering the manager of the Toronto Blue Jays faced a backlash recently after saying players might have to “wear dresses” because umpires in a game enforced a new slide rule designed to take deliberate contact out of baseball. When asked about it, Tantaros noted, “I did not get offended. We women do the same thing about men. We need to lighten up. I think playing like a girl should be embraced, and not to consider it a negative connotation.”
Tied Up in Knots is a shocking, funny, and honest narrative about today’s gender gaps. It is insightful, informative, and relevant to what is happening currently in the world. Anyone wanting a new relationship guide for the 21st Century should read this book.