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Uncle Jimbo for Press Secretary

Another one bites the dust, Carney runs for the hills blowing kisses to the media jackals on his way out. As usual good riddance is the proper sentiment, but it is followed by grim determination that his replacement be an America icon. That icon is me. Bold statement I know, but I can back it up. I have been honing my skills and auditioning for this role since the media was batting Scotty McClellan around like a cat toy back during W Days and continued through the reign of Barack the One. 

You may ask how I can serve as the designated liar and purveyor of propaganda for someone I disagree with on virtually every substantive issue. Fair question, but I actually despise the media more than Obama and the chance to beat them like wet dogs in a dry house trumps my distaste. Here is one of my more recent turns answering the jackals during Barry O's tenure the others are here. This is just a taste of the real campaign, which will kick off on Monday.