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My new phone is a killer

Posted By Uncle Jimbo • [June 11, 2010]

And I don't mean it's killer, I mean it's a killer. Sure it's 4G and it has front and back 8MP cameras and it shoots HD video and it is a mobile hot spot for 8 wi fi devices etc. etc. But on the Metro ride back from the store it choked the life out of two iPhones and prison raped a Droid.

Plus since I know people I got the sniper rifle and hellfire missile apps. And I'm not talking like it figures range and wind for you I'm talking it fires .300 win mag rounds, and it's not just a screen where you can watch drone footage and maybe push a button to launch a missile. It flies and fires the damn things. Last night I woke up and saw it take off from the night stand and about 4 hours later it woke me up landing and plugging itself in. Then I heard it chuckling and it flashed on a red number 14, then it switched to video and showed me gun camera footage where it created 14 dead tangos in North Waziristan. Don't believe that crap about Predators or Reapers, that was my damn phone. It's an assassin. Heck when I took this picture it was talkin' smack to my MacBook Pro and tellin' it to meet it out back at 4 for a digital ass-whoopin'.

IMG_0696

UPDATE:

My ruthless 4G EVO phone, who likes to be known as Uphonious Junk and I will refer to as UJ(p) so as not to confuse, has been at it again in North Waziristan. Three more dead tangos chalked up to the most deadly mobile communications device in the world.

Some like the Armed Liberal may scoff and claim it is over-compensation, but me and UJ(p) know better. It is simply the perfect pairing of man and machine..... killing machine.


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