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BLACKFIVE buys BLACKWATER

Posted By Uncle Jimbo • [June 08, 2010]

Well not yet. Apparently Blackwater is for sale and Noah at Danger Room is holding a contest to see who should buy it. I nominated BLACKFIVE as I think we are the perfect new owner. Matt and I have been there, me multiple times and we promise to turn the North Carolina compound into a theme park, think Adult Disneyland with booze and hot chicks (wo)manning the rides. You could drink, shoot, blow stuff up and crash cars. How much better does it get?

Plus we promise to pull an Obama and double down on the whacking of bad guys overseas. Imagine me running business development and Froggy running delivery. We would be stackin' the dead tangos like firewood. So go now and vote for BLACKFIVE to buy BLACKWATER. Free bullets for all my friends. We will also hire Jeremy Scahill as a tour guide for the museum as he will need a new gig once we take over.

We could have the Waterboarding log ride, the Rendition Express, The tea cup rides from Disney too those things are torture.


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