Ask an Infantryman -- "HUSBAND SCRATCHES HIS HEAD AT WIFE'S LOVE FOR LINGERIE"

Posted By Uber Pig

Ernie Pyle wrote:  "I love the infantry because they are the underdogs. They are the mud-rain-frost-and-wind boys. They have no comforts, and they even learn to live without the necessities. And in the end they are the guys that wars can’t be won without."

Whether you were a SEAL, a paratrooper, a marine, or a civil affairs guy today in Afghanistan, a lot of what you did was infantry work.  It's boring, it's hot and then it's cold; It's snow and then it's rain.  Nobody who hasn't been an infantryman understands quite how much the work can suck.  But it keeps you from thinking too much, and helps put your neuroses back in place.  And so, I think it's time for you -- the infantryman, by definition one of the most well-adjusted human beings in the world -- to share your unique perspective with your fellow Americans, and give them practical advice they can use:

HUSBAND SCRATCHES HIS HEAD AT WIFE'S LOVE FOR LINGERIE

DEAR ABBY: When my wife sees lingerie she likes in a store, she asks me to buy it for her birthday or our anniversary. The problem is, she'll wear the item only once and never wear it again. She has a fortune in lingerie in her dresser drawer just taking up space.

I hate wasting money. Do you have any advice for me? -- FREDERICK, BUT NOT IN HOLLYWOOD

So let's hear it.  What should Frederick do?  Your answers below, and feel free to use The Onion as a style guide.

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Ask an Infantryman -- "HUSBAND SCRATCHES HIS HEAD AT WIFE'S LOVE FOR LINGERIE"

Ernie Pyle wrote:  "I love the infantry because they are the underdogs. They are the mud-rain-frost-and-wind boys. They have no comforts, and they even learn to live without the necessities. And in the end they are the guys that wars can’t be won without."

Whether you were a SEAL, a paratrooper, a marine, or a civil affairs guy today in Afghanistan, a lot of what you did was infantry work.  It's boring, it's hot and then it's cold; It's snow and then it's rain.  Nobody who hasn't been an infantryman understands quite how much the work can suck.  But it keeps you from thinking too much, and helps put your neuroses back in place.  And so, I think it's time for you -- the infantryman, by definition one of the most well-adjusted human beings in the world -- to share your unique perspective with your fellow Americans, and give them practical advice they can use:

HUSBAND SCRATCHES HIS HEAD AT WIFE'S LOVE FOR LINGERIE

DEAR ABBY: When my wife sees lingerie she likes in a store, she asks me to buy it for her birthday or our anniversary. The problem is, she'll wear the item only once and never wear it again. She has a fortune in lingerie in her dresser drawer just taking up space.

I hate wasting money. Do you have any advice for me? -- FREDERICK, BUT NOT IN HOLLYWOOD

So let's hear it.  What should Frederick do?  Your answers below, and feel free to use The Onion as a style guide.

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