1. I believe this is the shittiest planet I have ever lived on, bar none.
2.I believe GOD created everything we know and that no one on earth knows who GOD is.
3. I believe you should do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
4.I believe that man is an inherently selfish and low animal, but preferable to mosquitos.
5. I believe it is impossible to support the troops and oppose their mission.
6. I believe dogs are preferable to cats, but that kittens and puppies are equally cute.
7. I believe America is the greatest nation yet to exist on this earth, and anyone who disagrees can kiss my ass.
8. I believe that bacon is actually a vitamin
9. I believe regret is a wasted emotion, learn and move on.
10. I believe worrying is like paying interest on a debt you may not even owe.
Please add to the list in the comments if'n you wish.
11. I believe Zen Buddhism's method of studying riddle-like koans is really cool.
12. I believe that there are few pleasures greater to a man than the first piss of a winter beer bash outside in the snow on a tree in the moonlight.
13. I believe that women don't really like men, and vice versa.
14. I believe that the progressive mindset is hard-wired and they can't help it. Same with conservatives.
15. I believe racism in America is no longer an important issue to anyone other than hustlers and victimologists.
16.I believe MIchelle and Barack Obama are more liberal dopplegangers of Hillary and Bill Clinton.
17. I believe there are few problems that more people have completely bass ackwards than the Palestinian/Arab/Muslim war against the very existence of Israel.
18. I believe Ronald Wilson Reagan, representing America, is the employer I am most proud to have worked for; my Dad is a close second.
19. I believe there is no greater love than he that lays down his life to save another.
20. I believe our political system is a soup sandwich, but I wouldn't trade it for anything other than my own benevolent dictatorship.
21. I believe monkeys are having a pretty good time.
22. I believe all web-footed aquatic birds should be called ducks, because who cares?
23. I believe the nets in both hockey and soccer should be increased by 1/3 to allow some actual scoring.
24. I believe Eddie Izzard is the funniest Executive Transvestite on earth.
25. I believe rappelling off a 60 ft. tower is scarier by far than parachuting from 25,000 ft. at night.
26. I believe waterboarding works and isn't even close to torture.
27. I believe bin Laden has been dead since not long after Tora Bora.
28. I believe that Iran has tons of homosexuals, they just cheat by not counting sex with young boys or livestock.
29. I believe Iraq is going to become a Turkey-like secular state.
30. I believe it's about time for me to fire up my grill and smoker and open up a cold one.