Horrifyingly Flagrant attack on US Navy by Iran

Posted By Uncle Jimbo

Looks like the Iranians decided to poke at the Great Satan's boats and see what happens. Since they are well aware we are not the British and attempting to board or get about one inch further than they went would have made a whole boat load of sailors happier than shore leave in Thailand, that makes this a feint. A feint is designed to provoke an exploitable reaction, i.e. us blowing harmless Iranian vessels who were on a humanitarian mission to bring rice to starving polar bears. Ralph Peters, as he often does, loses his mind and declares this the greatest naval defeat since France sunk Greenpeace's boat the Rainbow Warrior.

January 8, 2008 -- EARLY Sunday morning, the US Navy lost its nerve and guaranteed that American sailors will die at Iranian hands in the future.

STFU Ralph! Good gravy, I think it's safe to say the Iranians and everyone else knows we can blow them into their component molecules pretty much at will. Heck the Navy even lets chicks kill people, how 'bout them apples holy warrior? So what's the point? The Iranians drove to within 200 meters of one of our boats talking smack the whole way in on the radidio.

"Cringe infidels! Kneel before my puny pimped-out Boston Whaler. I spit on your aircraft carriers, your Tomahawk missiles, your PHALANX gatling gun from Hell." "Holy camel shite Mahmoud, not this freakin' close are you insane? Run Away! Run Away!"

And somehow I remain free from the powers of the Iranian Navy to write this bilge. Stay safe Navy, and do me a favor if they show back up again, please have a female fire whatever you decide to stick in their asses.

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Comments

[The Wolf]

Just be sure to soak the rounds in pork chops and bacon grease before they do...

-W

[Blackfive]

And paint them pink in feminine solidarity...seriously.

[Mr.Sparkle]

Er we're talking about a success here, whilst us Brits might be prone to a gentle boating life of deck chairs and tea, the youthful Yankee sailors often prematurely shoot their loads, remember the USS Vincennes? It's a good pattern of behaviour to defend yourself when you have overwhelming power instead of providing easy propaganda victories destroying some tiny dingy so a bunch of raving loonies and general tits who read some stupid yellow paper like the Post can forget their miserable lives by pretending the military fist of their country makes them important.

[The Wolf]

To paraphrase:

''Dead men Iranians tell no tales''...

[Deltabravo]

Or, Mr. Sparkle, you can let the Iranians take your crew hostage too. That's even more fun than lounging on deck chairs and sipping tea, no?

It's always fun to have to grovel to get your people back, right?

I'm of the mind that blowing the little cigarette boats out of the water instead of waiting for a Cole reprisal would have been fun, but perhaps the skippers in the SOH had better intel.

Tally ho!

[fmfnavydoc]

How about having every PMSing female member of all three ships ( manning "Ma Duce" (with the rounds lubricated with appropriate grease from a cloven hoofed animal) and let them light up these juvenile Iranian delinquents...

[Cincinnati_Bob]

I love the idea of the pink bullets, and missiles

[Cincinnati_Bob]

Mr Sparkle, it is milquetoast ideas like that that are responsible for the current barbarian attacks from subject Dirkamaniacs.

When a child runs around tossing your glass lamps to the floor, this is not the time to try to reason with the little beast.

In any case, what I read was that all boats were readying to fire when the little hellians turned tail. Too bad they didn't stay another 5 seconds or so.

[mindy1]

I agree that this was no deafeat-I think this was the right thing to do-shooting them would have started a major incident.

[Howhurley]

I suspect there was a range inside which the interlopers were not allowed. I suspect it's probably on some orders sheet somewhere, when a class A or whatever incident occurs. The ROE for that situation HAS to be pre-authorized.

"Take one more step..."

[rick554]

Funny how the USS VINCENNES is always remembered when the US NAVY gets involved with the Persians. The fact is that the Iranian airliner was actually acting like it was going to attack. In these days of suiciders and jihadists, who knows for sure ,MR Sparkle, what the flight deck crew's "agenda" might have been. I think the Squids let them get too close, but thats why they dont let construction workers drive NAVY ships. BRAVO ZULU guys! Get 1 for me!!

[2cuteX1/2]

Peters has it right about the, " American sailors will die at Iranian hands in the future" angle, but judging by the admins current rush to mollycoddle every insane tyrant with a nuke/intentions to get one, starting with the nukyist one, NK, and working their way down, me suspects those in charge already had orders to hide all pork products and send out a written apology for having uncovered women on deck if necessary. The U.S. Navy kicks ass, and because of States' current lack of testies, they surely will die, and especially kill, in greater numbers than necessary had they been allowed to send those dumb bastards to the virgin isle.

[defendusa]

Pork and bacon grease..but don't forget the little flying pig accoutrement/party favor for the end of whatever's gonna hit'em--to celebrate the big boom,boom of ourse...
Mr. Sparkle, C'mon now. I don't want 'em in my--what's the that cockney english pronunciation word for "house?" C'mon chap, we don't want any Iranians in our 'ass- er, house. Did you forget that these colors don't run?

[tankerbrosbrat]

THIS Brit has to disagree with Mr Sparkle. I was not impressed with how the brits allowed themselves to be boarded and taken. "Rule Britannia"?? Not so much, that time..and yea, it hurt. I don't blame the sailors themselves. I am sure the orders came from higher up. (and oh yea UJ, watched your piece on that the other day - agreed with you..and the dog's background editorial opinion, too!)

THIS time I also wish the Iranians had stayed 5 more seconds. I also like the PMS idea...and the pink of course! The Iranians have proved in the past (not too far past for those with short memories...lol) that they want to kill Americans. It is my hope the Americans don't waste time 'negotiating' any more than the pols have already.

We ARE at war, aren't we?

[JoeS]

Uncle Jimbo,

No comment regarding the 72 goats awaiting these intrepid boat jockeys? I wish we let our sailors play with their cool deck accessories:

www.powerlineblog.com/archives2/2008/01/019480.php

Oh please make toothpicks out of their ski boats.

I'll buy the extra bullets...

[JihadGene]

Once in office I will "CHANGE" all of this!

B.H. Obama (D-JoMomma)

[JihadGene]

Once I'm in office, those raggeddy-a$$ed Iranians will be pumping us free oil (as well as their goats)! Praise Allah and may Pig Piss be upon all you corn-fed fu*ks in Iowa!

Love, Hillary C.
in Frozen Hooters,
New Hampshire

[Caper2]

Guys:

So far the Australians seem to have the best Western naval response so far. But don't forget the Tanker War of the late 80s.

If I recall, the joke at the time was that if the Iranian CNO needed to review his fleet, he needed to use a glass bottom boat.
:)

Ah, good times.

El Coqui

[Mr.Sparkle]

I was also disappointed with the "mistake" which resulted in an unprotected vessel being captured and the behaviour of our men in prison, and the sad state of affairs afterwards where they profiteered from their ordeal to the tune of autobiographies and selling stories to the newspapers.

Point is the skipper(s) made the right political decision here.

[Achillea]

Pink bullets? Just shoot 'em with one of these.

h/t to Tim Blair