Blogger's Roundtable: Riding Trail
Michael J. Totten Arrives in Iraq

Pentagon tells Hillary to hush her cake hole

I just wish they would let this guy answer every clown in our Congress who is doing their best to give aid and comfort to our enemies. But first let's hear what the Pentagon's Eric Edelman had to say about Hillary's foolish suggestion that the Pentagon start planning for troop withdrawals. To quote Cartman, "It's pretty sweet".

"Premature and public discussion of the withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq reinforces enemy propaganda that the United States will abandon its allies in Iraq, much as we are perceived to have done in Vietnam, Lebanon and Somalia," Edelman wrote.

He added that "such talk understandably unnerves the very same Iraqi allies we are asking to assume enormous personal risks.

So if you wouldn't mind you dim twit, please stop fighting against us. There is no such thing as W's War, this goes in the books as a win or loss for the good old US of A. The really sad thing is Hilly represents the least deranged Democrat on the war. Maybe I can help Mr. Ededlman out by penning some notes for the other folks opposing the mission of our troops. And incidentally that is something we change right freakin' now. There is no more supporting the troops without supporting their mission. If you oppose the war, you oppose the troops period. If you are actively undermining their efforts by running your mouth in the US Congress, then you absolutely do not support the troops. So let's get started.

Dear Rep. Murtha,

Any service you have given your country is greatly outweighed by your shameless behavior stabbing currently serving troops in the back. From your incandescently stupid idea to redploy to Okinawa to your disgraceful and reprehensible actions calling US Marines cold-blooded killers before they were even charged with a crime, you sir are a swine.

So make your last action in Congress an apology to the Haditha Marines and then take your sorry carcass home.

Cordially,

Uncle J
Pentagon Office of Righteous Ass-Chewings


Dear Speaker Pelosi,

You represent a district that despises the military enough to actually whine that the Blue Angels were busy stoking up the flames of war by flying in your silly city. Well we can make sure that those brave and brilliant pilots don't risk their lives for the likes of you and your constituents. You managed to gen up a majority for the first vote in favor of surrender in the US Congress I am aware of, Bravo for that. And you even managed to kowtow to an active enemy of our country, by kissing Assad's ring in Damasacus. Do us all a favor and take your perpetually-outraged looking ass back to Frisco.

Cordially,

Uncle J
Pentagon Career Advice Counselor

And now for the one I would like to personally deliver by stapling it to a boot and kicking Harry Reid hard enough to make it part of his DNA.

Dear Sen. Reid,

I have done my best to become a non-hater, I feel it makes me a better person if I don't bandy the word about, but save it for instances or pure evil. But I'll make an exception in your case. I hate everything about you and I hold you personally responsible for aiding and comforting our enemies during wartime. Your actions have shown Al Qaeda in Iraq, Sunni insurgents and Shia extremists that if they hang on the cavalry will be recalled. You have given them hope, which made them fight on and in doing so you have caused the deaths of better men and women than you.

You are a miserable, thin-lipped, milquetoast, cream-in-the-coffee, cadaver and the sight of your simpering visage mewling defeatist BS and stabbing our troops right in the front makes me question my pacifism. You cannot be forgiven for the lives you have cost and that is a shame you will carry to your grave. Then when your sad little sleep over simply made you look silly, you had the audacity to pull the Defense Bill and hold up pay raises and all kinds of needed equipment for the very troops you would safeguard by having them defeated.

The fact that you have done these traitorous things in pursuit of political power makes them even lower. I truly believe that you value the prospect of defeating W and his neo-con cabal more than you value the lives of our troops and the national security of the United States. You want to ensure that we will no longer be able to project force in pursuit of oil or globalization or anything else. Sadly you are too dim and unable to see beyond your power play to comprehend that the loss you and your fellow losers are attempting to inflict on us is likely to create not just a Pelosi-Reid Slaughter of Bibli-Koranic proportions in Iraq, but will give Iran the green light to finish their plan of regional domination. I mean seriously you doddering old fool, our troops support the mission because they don't relish the idea of coming back in a few years when Iran, Syria, Lebanon and the Palestinians decide to handle that whole Joooos in the Holy Land problem once and for all.

Why am I wasting brain cells schooling you? There is no chance you are either bright enough or able to see our security clearly enough to understand. You are a disgrace Senator, and while I don't believe in this guy Mormon or any of the major Gods, I really hope you do burn in Hell. FOAD Harry!

Cordially,

Uncle J
Pentagon Office of People You Better Hope You Never Meet in a Dark Alley

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Man that always makes me feel so good. The nice thing for me is that the anger flows right out with the beat down. Now I think I will go for a walk down to the Memorial Union Terrace at the UW and watch the sailboats and the pretty girls bob around.

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