Climb onboard the Impeachment Special
A Special Day

Open wide, Blackfive, Here comes your size eleven

So, I've been on the road to promote The Blog of War and for my regular job.  I'll be in Tampa on Saturday.

I've learned a few lessons so far.  I was in a major western airport recently.  I waited too long to get to the terminal because I was having a very good meeting where I thought the risk of missing my flight might be worth a few extra minutes of discussion.

So I rush to the airport and get in the security line about five minutes before my boarding time.  In front of me is what I would call "TurboDude".  You all know TurboDude - great suit, perfectly coiffed hair, fake tan, jewelry, always smiling those porcelain veneers, high powered suit type.

So TurboDude is in front of me.  And he hasn't taken care of business yet...meaning, he's taking of his watch right before the xray machine, then he slowwwwwly takes of his belt and slloooowwwwwly curls it up perfectly before placing it in the xray tote, then he unfolds his money and starts sorting it by 5s, 10s and 20s.  I was losing my patience and I was in a hurry so I went around him.  Didn't want to miss my flight.

He gets irate and says loudly (I'm two feet in front of him), "THERE'S A LINE FOR A REASON!"

So, I turn around and ask like I'm honestly interested, "Hey, are you a black belt?"

He seems a bit perplexed but shows the veneers and says, "No, why do you ask?"

I look him in the eye, "Because I wanted to know if I could tell you to @#$% off or not."  And turn and head through the scanner and off to my gate.

I barely made it to my seat, 16A, before they shut the door.  But one more passenger did make it on at the last minute to take seat 16B.

Guess who it was?

Yeah, that was quietest I've ever been for 2.5 hours.