The Goldberg Bovine Political Classification Hypothesis

Posted By Uncle Jimbo

Jonah Goldberg has not given us any quality whimsy lately. He has a well-deserved reputation for somewhat bent takes on odd things which he used to share with us regularly via the G-files etc. Now being a member of The Tribe and a pundit, he is basically obliged to have a take on the many Jew-hating related things going on. That will wear on you and one of the first victims of an overdose of Zionist Protocols is the funny. Gladly the intermittent internet access and bucolic scenery have restored him.

Cows Fer Eatin' Vs. Cows Fer Milkin' [Jonah Goldberg]

Here's a completely random, far from analytically rigorous , observation.......When you think about it, cow-rich states dedicated to dairy seem to have more left wing politics than cow-rich states dedicated to meat production. Doing no research whatsoever and merely going by stereotypes about cheese and steak, cow-dairy states are:

Wisconsin
Vermont
Oregon
Minnesota
New York

Cow-meat states are:

Idaho
Texas
Wyoming
Montanna
(and I suppose) Oklahoma

Two possible partial historic explanations (i.e. guesses) come to mind. First, the sorts of people who historically went into dairy production were Scandinavian socialist types while the people who went into meat production were Scotch-Irish cowboy types.

I have two dogs in this fight. Number one, I live in Wisconsin and proudly claim the Bluest city in the Midwest as my hometown. Number two, my Dad is from Nebraska and our family has been helping convert Polled Herefords into lunch for many moons.

That gives me a foot in each camp, although my personal position is unequivocally pro-porterhouse. Plus if you farm milk cows you have to get up every day several hours prior to the butt crack of dawn to milk them or they eventually explode one-thin-mint style.

I guess I even have a third dog as he ascribes the dairy state/nanny state connection to Scandinavian socialist types, and I hail from Hansons, Swansons, and Piersons and am barely two generations removed from the Swedish homeland.

That said I don't see much wrong with his thinking here. It matches the Yin Yang nature of our body politic and people certainly self-select to live with those having similar beliefs. I think my clan's straying from the milk-farming can be explained by the Irish branch of the Hanson tree which probably came about on a raid of the Emerald Isle. That has led to transforming this

 into this

Now don't get me wrong, along with a tasty beverage I do enjoy a wicked xxx sharp cheddar. And I greatly appreciate the toiling of the many who awake as I lie down to gather the bovine nectar. But that ain't me. So I stand foresquare in support of the Goldberg Bovine Political Classification Hypothesis. Now my Kingsford is whitening nicely, the first sip of my tasty beverage will certainly lead to more, and I now will prove the hypothesis by grilling the king of steaks, Ladies and Gentlemen I give you the Porterhouse.

Take a peek at the Jonah Goldberg Smart Ass Answer Library too, from his trip here to talk at the UW. Some very tasty beverages were sampled afterwards at the Memorial Union.

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The Goldberg Bovine Political Classification Hypothesis

Jonah Goldberg has not given us any quality whimsy lately. He has a well-deserved reputation for somewhat bent takes on odd things which he used to share with us regularly via the G-files etc. Now being a member of The Tribe and a pundit, he is basically obliged to have a take on the many Jew-hating related things going on. That will wear on you and one of the first victims of an overdose of Zionist Protocols is the funny. Gladly the intermittent internet access and bucolic scenery have restored him.

Cows Fer Eatin' Vs. Cows Fer Milkin' [Jonah Goldberg]

Here's a completely random, far from analytically rigorous , observation.......When you think about it, cow-rich states dedicated to dairy seem to have more left wing politics than cow-rich states dedicated to meat production. Doing no research whatsoever and merely going by stereotypes about cheese and steak, cow-dairy states are:

Wisconsin
Vermont
Oregon
Minnesota
New York

Cow-meat states are:

Idaho
Texas
Wyoming
Montanna
(and I suppose) Oklahoma

Two possible partial historic explanations (i.e. guesses) come to mind. First, the sorts of people who historically went into dairy production were Scandinavian socialist types while the people who went into meat production were Scotch-Irish cowboy types.

I have two dogs in this fight. Number one, I live in Wisconsin and proudly claim the Bluest city in the Midwest as my hometown. Number two, my Dad is from Nebraska and our family has been helping convert Polled Herefords into lunch for many moons.

That gives me a foot in each camp, although my personal position is unequivocally pro-porterhouse. Plus if you farm milk cows you have to get up every day several hours prior to the butt crack of dawn to milk them or they eventually explode one-thin-mint style.

I guess I even have a third dog as he ascribes the dairy state/nanny state connection to Scandinavian socialist types, and I hail from Hansons, Swansons, and Piersons and am barely two generations removed from the Swedish homeland.

That said I don't see much wrong with his thinking here. It matches the Yin Yang nature of our body politic and people certainly self-select to live with those having similar beliefs. I think my clan's straying from the milk-farming can be explained by the Irish branch of the Hanson tree which probably came about on a raid of the Emerald Isle. That has led to transforming this

 into this

Now don't get me wrong, along with a tasty beverage I do enjoy a wicked xxx sharp cheddar. And I greatly appreciate the toiling of the many who awake as I lie down to gather the bovine nectar. But that ain't me. So I stand foresquare in support of the Goldberg Bovine Political Classification Hypothesis. Now my Kingsford is whitening nicely, the first sip of my tasty beverage will certainly lead to more, and I now will prove the hypothesis by grilling the king of steaks, Ladies and Gentlemen I give you the Porterhouse.

Take a peek at the Jonah Goldberg Smart Ass Answer Library too, from his trip here to talk at the UW. Some very tasty beverages were sampled afterwards at the Memorial Union.

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» B y Bove! Hes got it!! from Pros and Cons
Normally Id say By Jove, but this cows as meat and cows as factories divide is one of those Colombus egg things. So obvious that no one has ever happened upon it beofre, or if they did, they didnt realize the worth of their... [Read More]