Military Humor

Posted By Blackfive • [May 11, 2004]

When the stress level is high, combat types do all sorts of funny things. Some of the funniest memories that I have are things that happened right before a jump or before a really stressful situation.

You have to have a sense of humor or you'll just have a heart attack. Here's an anecdote about one of my superiors who probably has a had a few heart attacks:

When I was a lieutenant, I worked for a Major. He smoked two pack of cigs and drank three thermoses of coffee every day. Garrison or Field didn't matter. Germany or Turkey or Iraq didn't matter. The Major had a weathered look. He looked a lot older than the other Majors. I figured he was an ex-Enlisted man like me. He was a very serious Soldier.

So, one day we were gathered around afire pit and were talking about Retirement.

Blackfive: "Sir, you must be pretty close to retirement?"

Major: "What?! @#$%  you, LT! I'm thirty-four, Jacka$$..."

Blackfive (sarcasm dripping on every word): "Sorry, Sir, it must be your exemplary clean life style that made me overestimate your age."

Everyone else laughed. He never cared for me much after that. He's probably dead now. No sense of humor, that guy.

So, speaking of Military Humor, I receive this invitation for a Change of Command Ceremony. This, you should read:

The Commanding Officer of
Marine Air Support Squadron Three
requests the pleasure of your company at the
Change of Command Ceremony
at which
Lieutenant Colonel James D. Gass, USMC
will relinquish command to
Lieutenant Colonel David F. Aumuller, USMC
on Friday, the seventh of May 2004
at nine o’clock
Marine Air Support Squadron Three
Building #120
Blue Diamond Main, Iraq
Reception immediately following

R.S.V.P
DSN XXX-3402-555

Military: Utilities

DIRECTIONS:

FROM SAN DIEGO:

Fly the most direct route to Kuwait City International Airport (this will likely involve 2-3 stops and about 17 hours in the air). From KCIA take the 7th Ring Motorway to Hwy 80N towards Iraq. Once across the international border and UN checkpoint, this will become MSR Tampa. Follow MSR Tampa for approximately 400 miles. The route is well marked but very dangerous. It is not recommended that you travel without adequate firepower, and food and water to last several days. You may also consider some form of 2-way communications in order to contact the nearest available Quick Reaction Force. Additionally, unnecessary stops enroute are highly discouraged. Take the Baghdad Beltway south and west of the city towards Fallujah. Be especially alert when passing through the Fallujah cloverleaf. Follow the signs to Blue Diamond Main. The MASS-3 area will be the last compound on the right. Parking is available in the well-marked but poorly lit Motor Pool area.

*Sponsors are not responsible for damage caused by indirect fire.

At least the Marines haven't lost their sense of humor!

Good luck to LtCol. Aumuller and thanks to LtCol. Gass!

---

Comments

Military Humor

When the stress level is high, combat types do all sorts of funny things. Some of the funniest memories that I have are things that happened right before a jump or before a really stressful situation.

You have to have a sense of humor or you'll just have a heart attack. Here's an anecdote about one of my superiors who probably has a had a few heart attacks:

When I was a lieutenant, I worked for a Major. He smoked two pack of cigs and drank three thermoses of coffee every day. Garrison or Field didn't matter. Germany or Turkey or Iraq didn't matter. The Major had a weathered look. He looked a lot older than the other Majors. I figured he was an ex-Enlisted man like me. He was a very serious Soldier.

So, one day we were gathered around afire pit and were talking about Retirement.

Blackfive: "Sir, you must be pretty close to retirement?"

Major: "What?! @#$%  you, LT! I'm thirty-four, Jacka$$..."

Blackfive (sarcasm dripping on every word): "Sorry, Sir, it must be your exemplary clean life style that made me overestimate your age."

Everyone else laughed. He never cared for me much after that. He's probably dead now. No sense of humor, that guy.

So, speaking of Military Humor, I receive this invitation for a Change of Command Ceremony. This, you should read:

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