Miller Lite Vs. Bud Light - A Vast Right-Wing Conspir-assy

Posted By Blackfive

I know, I know, with all that is going on in the world, you are wondering if this is the best that I can do...the answer would be "Yes". Hung over, tired, bruised, sun burned, and dehydrated....I feel great!

Chicago is a great place. Had a reunion with some Army buddies this weekend - drinking, fire engines, 2 White Sox games, squawking out Elvis tunes on the EL, explosions, midget transvestite hookers wearing viking helmets, more drinking - okay, okay the midget transvestites with the viking helmets were not really hookers.

Steve, a Chief Warrant Officer (and my former First Sergeant), was entertaining to say the least. We were in the Stadium Club at Comiskey Park (aka Cellular Field) ordering drinks:

Me to bartender, "Four Miller Lites, please."

Steve adamantly, "I'm not drinking Lite."

Bartender looks at me. I look at Steve.

I thought, Wow, maybe Steve wants Guiness or Harp. Never figured him to be a beer snob. IMHO, Harp is the nectar of the gods.

Me to Steve, "What do you want?"

Steve very serious, "Bud Light. That Miller Lite messes up my system!" Bartender goes into action.

The rest of us looked at him like he just praised Chirac or stated his profound love for Senator Clinton.

Me, "Yeah, right, it's the Miller Lite. Not that Chorizo and Cheese omlette you have there."

Dogpile on Steve!

Nate turning up the sarcasm, "Yeah, Matt, you didn't see him eat about $25 of Taco Bell last night....that had nothing to do with it, either. It has to be the Miller Lite."

Me, "$25 at Taco Bell?! You could feed a family of 8 for a week at Taco Bell for $25!" Seriously, you could order the whole menu twice and not spend $25.

Steve ate the Chorizo and Cheese omlette, hot wings, a polish sausage, and three baskets of peanuts...As my friend, Mr. Green says, you could definitely have set off a napalm enema in Steve's ass and he would still point to the Miller Lite as the culprit.

Update 05-09-05:  For those of you sent via Greyhawk or Mustang 23, there's more Chief Steve stuff here, here, and here.  There's more around this blog somewhere...

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Miller Lite Vs. Bud Light - A Vast Right-Wing Conspir-assy

I know, I know, with all that is going on in the world, you are wondering if this is the best that I can do...the answer would be "Yes". Hung over, tired, bruised, sun burned, and dehydrated....I feel great!

Chicago is a great place. Had a reunion with some Army buddies this weekend - drinking, fire engines, 2 White Sox games, squawking out Elvis tunes on the EL, explosions, midget transvestite hookers wearing viking helmets, more drinking - okay, okay the midget transvestites with the viking helmets were not really hookers.

Steve, a Chief Warrant Officer (and my former First Sergeant), was entertaining to say the least. We were in the Stadium Club at Comiskey Park (aka Cellular Field) ordering drinks:

Me to bartender, "Four Miller Lites, please."

Steve adamantly, "I'm not drinking Lite."

Bartender looks at me. I look at Steve.

I thought, Wow, maybe Steve wants Guiness or Harp. Never figured him to be a beer snob. IMHO, Harp is the nectar of the gods.

Me to Steve, "What do you want?"

Steve very serious, "Bud Light. That Miller Lite messes up my system!" Bartender goes into action.

The rest of us looked at him like he just praised Chirac or stated his profound love for Senator Clinton.

Me, "Yeah, right, it's the Miller Lite. Not that Chorizo and Cheese omlette you have there."

Dogpile on Steve!

Nate turning up the sarcasm, "Yeah, Matt, you didn't see him eat about $25 of Taco Bell last night....that had nothing to do with it, either. It has to be the Miller Lite."

Me, "$25 at Taco Bell?! You could feed a family of 8 for a week at Taco Bell for $25!" Seriously, you could order the whole menu twice and not spend $25.

Steve ate the Chorizo and Cheese omlette, hot wings, a polish sausage, and three baskets of peanuts...As my friend, Mr. Green says, you could definitely have set off a napalm enema in Steve's ass and he would still point to the Miller Lite as the culprit.

Update 05-09-05:  For those of you sent via Greyhawk or Mustang 23, there's more Chief Steve stuff here, here, and here.  There's more around this blog somewhere...

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